Can you be happy without looking attractive? Fuck yeah! I do it all the time on a 96% basis I look like a steaming pile of trash. But I’m a confident steaming pile of trash, so I’m not complaining.
Bit that 4% of the time when I actually look halfway decent, I feel like I can take on the world. And I gave a theory as to why:
Scientists say - I don’t know which scientists, but scientists say - that there is such a thing as decision fatigue. As I understand it: each person only has the energy to make X amount of decisions in a given day. Once you pass that benchmark, you start to get real fed up with making decisions and it turns into a drastic feat.
“But Kennedy, choosing an outfit in the morning is making a decision. Wouldn't that make you feel even more tired?”
I’m getting to that, just let me get there!
I see the morning fashion choice as a warm-up. You’re exercising your brain to prepare for the day’s choices. You’re stretching before the marathon and waking up your brain to win the race.
This fashion choice is exactly like an exercise. Your body can only take so much activity in a day, just like your brain. It’s important to exercise your body to get your blood pumping, but too much exercise and you'll be sore for the next week. If you make too many difficult decisions in one day, you may be regretting your choices for a long time.
And just like before exercise, you need to warm-up. So riffle through your closet and pick an outfit that’s going to get you hype for the day. It may be a suit and tie or a sweatshirt and jeans. Whatever the outfit, a fashionable you really is a happier you.
Like me, you may not be into fashion. Your wardrobe may be straight out of a Stranger Things episode, and you may have no idea what a high-waisted anything looks like. But as long as you take some pride in your appearance, you’ll get your decision warm-up in for the day.
Check out this video to see how wearing a crop top greatly improved my self-confidence:
It’s the new year! A time for resolutions and bettering yourself and making promises that you ultimately won’t keep.
That’s right! It seems more and more that New Year’s resolutions are promises to yourself that you know you’re going to break. So instead or teaching you how to keep your New Year’s resolution - something I know nothing about - instead I’m going to give my advice on how to make a permanent lifestyle change.
Tip #1 - Stop Waiting for the New Year. If you want to change something about yourself, don’t wait for Christmas, New Year's, Thanksgiving, your birthday, Groundhogs Day, etc. Make that change right now!
It just so happens that my biggest months for self-reflection and adaptation are December - for obvious reasons - and Mat because that was the month my academic year ended. But anyone who has known me for any significant amount of time will vouch that no matter the season, if I want to make a change in my life, I’m going to do it.
So stop waiting and start doing.
It’s important to share your lifestyle goals with people you trust so they can keep you accountable. But keep your mouth shut when it comes to everyone else! The more people that know, the less motivated you’ll be to share your progress with them.
For example, weight loss. If you blast the news that you are trying to lose weight on Facebook before you actually begin, you will feel less inclined to work out because everyone thinks you’re already doing it. However, if you stay silent but actually hit up the gym abs post only your milestones online, you’ll be motivated to workout so you will have milestones to show.
Keep quiet but keep hustling.
And lastly, tip #3 - turn a dream into a habit. I came up with that one all on my lonesome because I’m so original, she said sarcastically. But if you really want a dream to come true, you need to hustle at it every day.
Take my YouTube channel. I’m not just bringing it up yo be annoying. I have a point, I promise.
I’ve been working to “make it big” on YouTube since December 9th, 2015. But I don’t say I’ve been truly consistent until August 17th, 2017. (That’s right; I keep track of exact dates). That’s because I would always start and stop. Then pick my videos up after several months and start and stop again.
I wasn’t consistent. Bit the instances of major growth on my channel are due to consistency. I kept uploading videos on a schedule, and these videos are slowly being discovered.
Watch the video below for an example of the type of content I produce:
The secret to a real lifestyle change is consistency. How can you change if you’re not doing anything to incite that change?
New Year’s resolutions are a great way to take stock of your life, decide what you want to be, and map how to get there. Nut you need to consistently put in the work to adapt and grow. Otherwise, you’re resolution will fail by January 7th just like all the years past.
For advice on How to Stay Consistent, click the link: here.
Today my co-workers and I completed 8-hours of work in 3-hours. All three of us found ourselves perplexed and feeling slightly guilty, but there was nothing left to do except clean (which is not our primary job as accountants).
It’s work-ethic like this that I know many people lack, especially in the retail and food service industries. I don’t claim to be an expert in many things, but I have a pretty damn good work ethic (when I want to) at only 21-years-old.
Continue reading this blog post if you want to learn how to develop a more admirable work ethic.
First, recognize that how you behave at work is only a reflection on you and no one else. We all have shit customers, but if you treat them poorly, your boss will most likely disapprove of your behavior, even if they agree the customer is in the wrong.
I was an angry teenager, and this was reflected in my work ethic at my first and second jobs. I would constantly undermine the manager - the latter being my sister - because I thought I was smarter than them. (To be fair, everyone hated my first manager). Also, I would clock out for lunch whenever I should have been on the job, and even the customers could tell I was ready for my shift to end.
By no means am I saying you can’t hate your job. You shouldn’t, and if you do you should probably look for a new career. I do understand that this isn’t always realistic. However, regardless how you feel about your job, your performance is a reflection on you. So stop looking for incentives to do your job at the best of your abilities. The only incentive you should need is that you want everyone to know that you’re capable of accomplishing a job done well.
Secondly, the time goes faster when you give yourself more things to do. So if you want to appear as if you have a good work ethic without actually caring that much about your job, keep yourself busy.
While my current job has a consistent workflow - except today - all of my other jobs had a random mixture of fast and slow days. One time even my manager was bored out of her mind because she finished all of her work long before lunch.
The trick to maintaining a healthy work ethic, as I stated before, is keeping yourself busy. Find something to do. Even on the rare occasion that you finish absolutely everything and you can’t conceive of any other task to complete, pull out your homework or grocery list and look as if you’re working diligently. (Sort of like me writing this blog post).
The more you have to do, the faster the day will seem, and the more you’ll get done. It’s really a win-win.
Finally, the best way to developing an admirable work ethic is to work in a job you love. It doesn't have to be your dream career, but for as long as you actually like your job, you will try your damnedest to be a successful employee and earn your paycheck or salary.
We all have moments where we’d rather tweeze our eyes out of their sockets than spend another minute on the clock. But the trick to having an admirable and healthy work ethic is enjoying your job and/or believing in the work you’re doing.
You’re probably heard it all before how, especially in this day of the internet revolution, it is truly never too late to get started. While these tips are true, they’re stated by someone who probably never took a daring chance in their lives; always stuck to what they know because it’s safe.
If you would like to become the opposite of these people, continue reading. I will give you my real, proven (for me) motivation to work for your dream no matter your age.
Usually I drag my posts along to seem like I know what I’m talking about. But today is going to be short and sweet:
Stop. Making. Excuses.
You’re scared. I know this because I’m terrified 100% of the time. I grew up needing to know exactly how my life was going to turn out. And I did for the most part. For the first 18 years of my life, everything I wanted and knew would happen did. And that life was so incredibly boring.
I never took risks. I didn’t reach out to people because I had too much social anxiety and anger. I stayed home, did my homework, and went to sleep at 9pm sharp like a good little girl. All in the hopes that college would be full of parties, booze, and admittedly, sex. But it wasn’t because I still never put myself out there.
I was in a familiar situation - school - and acted the exact same way. It wasn’t until I dropped out that I realized I should really invest my time into YouTube if I want to make it big on the platform.
Now I’m obviously not YouTube famous - yet - because you probably have no idea who I am. But your main take away from this story should be the fact that I stopped making excuses and deliberately put myself into an unfamiliar and terrifying situation in order to prioritize A) my passion career, and B) myself.
If I can drop out of college to pursue my life’s dream, you can take an hour out of your day to pursue yours. There’s 24 hours in a day. Pick one and roll with it.
Point blank, you’re never too young and you’re never too old. Take acting lessons at 35 if you want to be an actor. Fly an airplane at 52 if you want to get rich flying cargo for Amazon. Install a pole in your living room at 96 if it’s your dream to be a stripper.
All of my friends throughout the years have told me that I have resting bitch face. If you don’t know what that is: the phenomenon of resting bitch face occurs when one’s natural resting face looks angry as fuck.
My RBF - what nobody calls it except me - makes it so that people, and especially strangers, keep their distance. And most of the time I like this. If you read my previous blog about doing selfless good deeds, you know that I’m incredibly self-involved. So for strangers to leave me alone isn’t a big deal.
Occasionally I care to partake in certain verbal discussions when I’m not being a complete loner. However, my standoffish personality and naturally bitchy resting face keep this from happening. So if you also have this problem, continue reading to learn how to become more approachable to strangers.
First, tell yourself that this conversation will have no drastic consequences. I have a habit of speaking when I shouldn’t, cutting people off, and walking away in the middle of a conversation. Because of this, I oftentimes have anxiety when a stranger talks to me.
In order to prevent this anxiety, remind yourself that this is just a conversation If you’re relaxed and nonchalant instead of stressed and overwhelmed, the person approaching you will remain just as calm.
Watch the video below to learn “5 Steps on How to Stop Walking Away in the Middle of Conversations:”
Second, my body language. When I’m stuck in my own thoughts and don’t want to be approached, I tend to hunch over and stand away from other people. When I want to have a conversation with someone new, I still stand apart; I like my personal space, what can I say?
However, when I want to appear friendly I straighten my posture and face the person with whom I want to speak.
If you also want to seem approachable, it’s important to be aware of your body language. Do you appear confident or shy? Do you seem like you’d be funny or serious? I bet you imagined certain
Lastly, my resting bitch face. It’s really something that never truly goes away. But it’s also something you don’t need to overcome. Just like your body language, it’s important to be aware of your resting bitch face and use it to your advantage.
If you want people to leave you alone, unlike people with normal faces, it’ll come across naturally on your expression. Congratulations, you don’t have to do anything! But if you do want strangers to approach you, think of a funny memory. What’s the one thing that always gets a laugh out of you?
If you need a funny memory, watch the video below showing how to make a pad out of toilet paper. I guarantee that’ll have you laughing for minutes.
Do you have your funny memory? Focus on that and only that. What were the specific circumstances that made you laugh?
Ah, I see that smile on your face. And that’s exactly how it works. Now that you’re smiling and not scowling, friends and strangers will be much more likely to approach you.
Whether you’re awkward and have a bitchy face or not, the best way to become approachable to strangers is to be aware of yourself and use your knowledge of stress reduction, body language, and facial expressions to the best of your advantage.
Now excuse me while I stand in a corner by myself and look bitchy.
don’t believe that there are any selfless good deeds. The person doing the favor always gets something in return, even if it’s just a good feeling for doing a nice thing for another person.
However, as a selfish individual, I can easily recognize when an activity gives benefit to someone else. Today I want to help you accept the offer when someone needs help, and how to stop feeling like you are wasting your time on someone else.
I know, it’s so hard to do something nice for someone else (she stated sarcastically). Actually, it can be difficult to do things for other people if you’re selfish like me. While you may want to reach out and help your friends because it’s a nice thing to do, you may see no benefit for yourself, and thus you will not do the good deed.
This doesn’t seem like a big deal. After all, you rarely ask people for help and you’re doing just fine. Well, that’s precisely the problem. When a person lends a helping hand to another person, these two form a greater bond of trust because the latter individual can now rely on the former of they’re in a bind. And while that all may sound like the lesson at the end of a Full House rerun, trust, and moreover people trusting you, isn’t something to take for granted.
Take me, for example. I have this Aunt Autumn - who does amazing work in video production so check her out here - that has done really awesome things for me without even asking. And, in fact, she did the things with me slightly resisting because I’m #Humble! My Aunt Autumn bought a
And today today on Facebook I saw her post asking for a close friend or family member to babysit my baby cousin while she and my uncle are at a huge reception. I immediately checked my schedule - I am free the day in question - and as I was replying, I had the thought, what’s in it for me? And because I couldn't think of anything, I deleted my response before posting.
Of course there are small things that I get out of this, like spending time with my baby cousin. But the bond between #TeamLightSkinned can only go so far when one of the cousins can’t speak. (Can you tell why I don’t want to have children?)
As soon as I deleted the message, I had a change of heart. My decision ultimately came down to my relationship with my aunt. She’s given me a lot without much regard for her own personal and selfish gain. I want our bond to grow stronger, and let’s face it, I owe her one.
Ultimately she went with someone else to watch the baby, but what’s important is that I reached out to do a good deed for someone I care about without needing much of a selfish return on investment. So for those of you selfish bastards out there that want to be more of a selfless bastard; do favors for you close friends and family.
If you need a reason: by doing something for another person, they’ll start relying on you, and eventually, they’ll owe you a favor.
So go forth, be a selfish bitch, and do good deeds for your own personal gain. Selfless good deeds do not exist. Just continue pretending to want for nothing until it’s your time to shine!
You’re given a choice of having cake now or cake later. There are no consequences for wither choice. The cake isn’t a reward for anything. It’s just having your cake and eating it too - either now or later. Who in their right mind would wait to eat their cake later?!
People who have their shit together. And I am not one of those people. I am the queen of spending money recklessly when I should be saving it for later.
So why should you be taking my advice? Because in choosing instant gratification I have found the value in patience… repeatedly. Continue reading to learn how and why delaying gratification is much better than giving into your impulses.
The perfect example to use for my poor spending habits: I’m trying to save money for an apartment.
Hidden Message: “failing.”
But in buying pointless things - mainly food - instead of saving money, I am forced to continue my 5 hour commute. If I decided to eat my cake later - i.e. save $500/paycheck until I can afford an apartment in Seattle - I would be much closer to ending my long commute. And that would mean more time in my day to focus on building my online presence, gaining an audience, and accomplishing my goal of working online full-time.
That’s the thing about instant gratification. It’s alright to day, “fuck it,” and blow your money every once in awhile. But doing it all the time leaves you trapped, continuing the cycle of hard-work for no satisfactory reward.
I am the last person to be giving unsolicited financial advice. I am terrible with my money. I’m trying to save for an apartment in Seattle but instead of saving money this weekend, I went on a spontaneous shopping spree to the Avenue and Lane Bryant with my step-grandmother. Now my free teenage banking account - I’m 21 - is overcharged. Fun!
Why do I tell you all that? Shouldn't I be convincing you that I’m an expert in everything I discuss? Well, my hope is that you learn from my mistakes, and then you give me some actually helpful advice in return (and comment to boost my engagement).
So if you also struggle with financial responsibility, don’t worry Keep reading to laugh at someone who's worse than you, and learn by doing the opposite.
First mistake: A Tight Budget. I’m horrible whenever I feel imprisoned by burden and pressure. If I don’t want to do something, I literally cannot force myself to do it. And I don’t want to live on a tight budget.
I don’t know why I keep expecting myself to plan out my spending to every cent. I can’t do it. If you want to plan a budget, leave yourself some pointless spending money. Maybe 5 - 10% of your paycheck. Even if you don’t use it - which, how?! - you won’t feel pressure to live your life controlled by the Benjamins. Leave yourself room to be spontaneous.
Third mistake: Self-Control. This is the worst mistake I make in my financial endeavors. I have excellent self-control in every other aspect of my life. So why am I so bad with my money? We’re not gonna go down that rabbit hole because that’s a deep dive we may not come back from.
But I will say that I’ve gotten into the habit of saying the words “self-control” whenever I’m about to buy something unnecessary. For example, I struggle with buying and eating too much fast and junk food. So whenever I’m about to walk into McDonalds, I say, “self-control.” This makes me remember that I shouldn’t be investing in this when I’m not even hungry.
If you’re reading this you’ve probably already researched countless blogs describing ways to intrigue people while still seeming mysterious. Those tips haven't worked and you’re getting desperate. Or you’re from my YouTube channel and you’re here to represent. Let’s Go, Awkward Turtles! Either way, I’ve been where you are and I’ve struggled with starting meaningful conversations.
So if you also have this problem, keep reading. I’m going to share the advice I give myself whenever I’m having an awkward conversation.
First of all, watch this video I made on how to start a friendly conversation:
What does that even mean? I say awkward phrases even in the written form where I can correct myself.
You should focus on your confidence and emotions in a more meaningful conversation because the person wants to get to know you, and not the version of you that you created to deal with people around which you’re uncomfortable.
If you concentrate on what you're going to say next to make things less awkward, you’ll miss everything that the other person says. But if you focus on how their words make you feel, you’ll be more likely to sympathize with them and connect with them in a way that neither of you has experienced before.
I made the “How to Start a Friendly Conversation” video to help people with social anxiety overcome their fear and reach out to others without added pressure. However, if you want to have a truly impactful connection, talk about subjects that give you a powerful emotion. This will help you trust the person you’re conversing with, and they’ll share a deeply personal gem from their life in return.
Be sure to check out this Ted Talk on how to listen and have a productive conversation. (No, I didn't make it, hahaha):
“How to Have a Better Conversation”
We’ve all done it: proclaimed that we’re going to accomplish a task, work on the hustle for a few hours, pick up our phones to reply to a text, and completely forget about the task and how productive we just were. I know because I’ve done it. In fact, I do it all the time.
So just like the perfect big sister, I’m going to sit you down and offer the advice you never asked for. Keep reading this post if you want to learn how to restart an old project.
I’ll use this blog as the perfect example. If you look back through my oldest posts - which you should - you can see that each has been uploaded well after the one before it. This is because I’m on a perpetual cycle of neglect and re-intrigue with this blog. (No offense blog, you know I love you. I just spend more time on my YouTube channel).
I was making a series of cheesy jokes with that parenthetical, but in my awkward humor I make a very good point. (Good job, me).
YouTube is my priority. I want to have a loyal fan base on the platform so my Awkward Turtles will follow me to other platforms, like this blog. But that logic is flawed because the way to grow on both is to so both. It’s a “one-hand-scratches-the-other” situation.
So how do you make yourself restart an old project? You prioritize it. You find a way to incorporate the old into the new. And then, you keep grinding.
If you want to write a book but you “had” to give it up because you got too busy at work - this is a lame excuse but that’s a blog topic for another day - you can still prioritize your book while at your 9 to 5. Not on the clock, obviously. But during lunch or on your commute. There are such things as speech-to-text and voice recordings; you can write your book and drive to work.
But you won’t accomplish anything if you don’t prioritize. I neglected this blog to focus on YouTube, but I also neglected my channel at many points. Mostly recently this summer. Check out the following videos. The first is from July, and the second is from several weeks later. My channel didn’t have any growth at this time because I didn't prioritize:
You can get all the memo books and reminder apps on the plant to help you re-engage with a project. But the truth is, if you don’t prioritize a goal, nothing will become of it.
So get out your Android - because they’re far superior to iOS - and get to recording. You’ll have your book done faster than you realize. I know, I’ve done it before.